In Memory of Phai's Mother

 Phai’s Mothers name is Klom (pronounced Gome) Ammarin

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This is an electrical cooled box which contains the coffin and stays in the house until time for the trip to the Temple crematorium.

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Mom's Final Resting Place inside this beautiful Monument. The Monk is doing a final blessing.
We will return later to place tiles on the cement base and beautify the ground around her.

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The Family arrived just minutes before she passed. Here they are chanting before gathering around her bed. She passed about ten minutes later.
I am convinced she waited for them to arrive.

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As soon as she passed some of the women rushed to the shower room and cleaned and scrubbed it. When they were ready Phai's oldest son carried Mom's body
into the room where it was laid on the mats and the family washed her body and hair. She was then carried into the living room in blankets, dressed in a nice outfit and put under a white blanket until the casket arrived about an hour later. That is the white box you see which is then placed in the very fancy refrigerated unit so the body can be kept at the house until the cremation takes place days later. 

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She passed at 4:00 pm and the Monks were there by 7 pm to chant. They would come again each morning and each evening to lead the group in chants.

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As you can see above a lot of people both family and friends are with her in the house chanting for her.

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The kids manage to keep themselves occupied and were well behaved. A Thai funeral is not a quiet event and the kids make a lot of noise.

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Everyone had to be fed at all times. Everyone seems to chip in and do whatever is needed including preparing mass amounts of food.

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A sign in table is set up and each person contributes 100 Baht (about $3) to help with the expense.

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Phai had these beautiful tables and flower arrangements delivered within hours of Mom's passing.

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A closer view. Funerals are very colorful events here. 

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Coins are sorted.

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Many volunteers wrap coins in small foil wrappers for later use. You will see it in the video so I won't spoil the surprise here.

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Some of the men drink a bit too much whiskey and/or beer. They finally had to wake him up and help him into the sidecar of his wife's motorcycle to take home.

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All these flowers are hand made. The women (and some men) sit for hours doing this sort of thing. 

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A closer view of their handiwork.

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Meanwhile Fa Mai enjoys some fruit outside the house. 

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A PA system and loudspeakers arrive within a few hours and get set up. Most of the village will hear everything from Dawn until early evening. That
includes the Monks chanting, the Mayor speaking, a singer entertainer performing, etc.

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The Mayor brought this wreath. She is a good friend of the the family.

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By now the money tree is growing and candles and incense are burning. The money will go to the temple after the cremation. Most attendees will light an
incense stick or two. I at times had to go outside because my eyes are sensitive to the incense. 

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This nice photo of Phai's mother was on display the entire time.

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Each attendee brings a baggy full of rice and pours it into these larger bags. 

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The funeral is very much a social event.

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The kids enjoy a meal on the floor. The two with shaved heads are great grandchildren and shaved there heads and eyebrows to honor her and help her
in her next life. They wore robes for the actual cremation ceremony.

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I think the Mayor is using the computer to type up her speech for the funeral.

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Phai and helpers place money in envelopes for the monks. They never give loose money to the monks.

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These mats, water bottles and treats wait for the Monks to arrive.

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A closer look at the flowers they made earlier.

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Food preparation was constant and it took a lot of volunteers and a lot trips to the market. We fed everybody for 6 days.

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They have an amazing work ethic. This went on all day and late into the evenings . 

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It is almost time to take mom to the temple and many of her possessions are packed and if I understand correctly the clothes in the suitcase will be donated.

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Many of the village women dress all in white for the funeral and enjoy a meal together.

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I think you can tell mom was very respected in this community. She spent 17 years in Florida with Phai's oldest sister but returned to Thailand five years ago.
She said she wanted to die here and the community welcomed her back for her remaining 5 years. 

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in the video you hear the women chanting and they sounded amazing over the loudspeakers. 

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Now it is their turn to chant with the monks who have arrived again.

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Even the kids show there respect for their Buddhist beliefs.

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Even the young ones.

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Women are not allowed to touch or hand anything directly to a monk so the monk puts a cloth out and Phai places the envelope on the cloth,

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The head monk carries this large cane everywhere.

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My favorite monk. He is almost always smiling and reminds me of the happy Buddha statues.

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Phai's mom is lifted onto the bed of the truck for the journey to the Temple which is only a few blocks away.

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The Monks lead the procession then the women dressed in white all connected by a long rope back to the vehicle with mom in it. 

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It was an amazing sight and the music being played on the truck loud speakers was very appropriate as you can hear in the video.

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Everything goes with mom to the Temple.

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It was hot and sunny at this point so the umbrellas go up for protection from the sun and heat.

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The family and friends follow the truck with Mom's casket to the temple.

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Most wear black or white. It unusual for someone to wear bright colors to a funeral here.

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Many people carry offerings with them.

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The procession circles the crematorium three times counterclockwise. Normally you circle a temple 3 times clockwise for good luck but it is reversed
for a funeral.

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Here you get a better view of the rope connecting the procession to Mom.

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The family and friends follow the casket.

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Phai carries the photo of her mom and proudly shows it off to everyone. 

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The casket is removed from the refrigerated unit and everything gets set up outside the crematorium.

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There are multiple areas with seating in the shade. Here Phai chats with some the attendees.

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One of Phai's brothers (far left), his son and Phai's two sons and two of her great grandchildren shaved their heads and eyebrows in Buddhist tradition and
wore robes to help Mom gain merit for her next life. 

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It is tradition for them to pose with the casket.

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This is a nice family photo.

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More chanting in front of the monks at the temple.

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It is a large group. There is another shelter full of people behind this one and the other area under the trees with a lot of people. 

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The monks make a last trip to the casket where they removed the lid and poured coconut juice on Mom.

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The casket is now open and Phai and her sister wipe mom's face as each person in attendance comes by and sprinkles water in the casket. 

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Keeping mom's face dry.

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I think everyone in attendance took their turn.

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It took quite a bit of time for this part of the ceremony and it is very traditional to photograph the event and share it. 

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More chanting now prior to the cremation.

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The Mayor will take about 30 minutes to read the name of every relative. I think she went through the whole family tree. 

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The casket is now moved up to the doors of the crematorium.

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HIgher ranking officials or people place robes on the table for the Monks. This also helps gain merit for Mom.

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The group is comfortable in the shade under the trees.

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The Mayor is still reading names.

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All the guests will receive a souvenir of the funeral.

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Phai's mother definitely passed some beauty in her genes.

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The rains start so we wait for the rain to slow down.

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The kids gather just prior to the cremation. I didn't understand what was going on. Little did I know that as soon as the cremation starts, large fireworks are set off and all those coins that were wrapped in foil and also candy is tossed out from the steps of the crematorium and the kids (and some adults) scrabble for them. You will see it in the video as soon as I can get it finished and uploaded.

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At that same time Mom is cremated some of her old belongings are also set on fire.

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It is an erie felling and first time experience for me. Here the people are much closer to the birth and death life cycle and the kids are not sheltered from death
as so many are in the States. I think that is why the cycle of life is understood and accepted her more naturally. I posted a document by a Buddhist Monk titled "Death and Dying" with a link on the home page OR CLICK HERE.

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  A new memorial is set up outside the house and mom's ashes/small bones are included in the small golden urn you can see on the tray.

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The monks return for food and chanting.

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What looks like a small house behind her picture has all kinds of personal and household supplies that will be donated to the Monks.

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Many people continue to come to the house after the cremation.

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A gong is set up and people take turns hitting it three times.

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Phai hired this singer entertainer and he performed for hours.

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The head monk conducts a two hour lecture on Buddhism. All this takes place the day after the cremation. 

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The group sits and listens intently for two hours.

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Back at the Temple on the final of six days. More food is prepared for everyone including the monks.

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A final gathering before Mom is interred in her final resting place.

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A table full of goodies for the Monks. I don't thinks monks are ever hungry except that they have to eat all their food before noon
and cannot eat again until the next morning. 

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The Monks enjoy the food, conversation and their gift baskets.

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We tossed some sticky rice in the pond at the temple for the fish. Feeding and caring for animals brings merit.

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The family truck takes the "house" with all the goodies to the final resting spot.

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The brown and white Momument is the one Phai purchased for her mother (to be fair, all Mom's children helped financially).

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Final chants are performed.

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String is always involved and links mom to the monks.

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Final blessings. 

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The Monks perform a final ritual for Mom.

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Water is sparkled on the container holding her remains.

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Mom's remains are now secured inside and the family takes turns putting water on the monument.



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